Did gender roles affect man’s termination over sexual conversations in workplace?
Robert, the son of a family physician, was raised in an environment where bodily functions and children’s maturation process were openly discussed.
His parents created an environment in which stereotypes about gender roles were discouraged and questioned. He was an involved parent to his two daughters.
Robert worked for one employer for 21 years, the last 13 of which were in a close-knit small department. Not long before Robert was terminated, discussions of family occurred in an online meeting. He mentioned that his daughter was turning 14 and she had been recently wearing a sports bra. He said he couldn’t believe how she had developed and looked mature and yet was only a child.
His co-worker, Bernice, felt uncomfortable. She thought Robert was sexualizing his child and didn’t think a father should talk about his daughter that way.
A few days later, she confronted Robert. He said: “I feel comfortable with you and I apologize if I made you uncomfortable.” He also indicated that he appreciated her honesty. She was not satisfied and did not think anything would change. She didn’t have concerns about her own personal safety. She didn’t think Robert was making sexual advances to her and had never looked at her the wrong way. She filed a complaint and when she was interviewed she raised previous things Robert had said. He had asked her when she first menstruated and when her daughter did the same. He mentioned that his daughter’s breasts were developing and asked Bernice about her daughter. He asked her when her breasts developed. He indirectly commented on the size of her breasts.
When she first complained to her manager about Robert, she said she had concerns over the well-being of Robert’s children. Later, she seemed to withdraw that concern.
When questioned, other female colleagues thought it was concerning that Robert would shower with his baby daughter. He would often ask questions of his other co-workers about their daughters to get a better understanding of his own daughters’ development. They thought it was odd for a man to get excited when he announced one day that his daughter had started to menstruate.
Robert’s evidence was that during this online meeting/phone call, he also indicated that he hated the way our culture sexualizes children and thought we lived in a hypersexualized society.
When the employer conducted an investigation of these complaints, it ended with Robert’s termination.
He took the matter to the Canada Labour Board.
It found Robert had solicited information from his female co-workers on their sexual development and that of their female children and asked them intrusive and inappropriate questions of a sexual nature. He also shared an inappropriate level of detail with the workplace regarding intimate details of his family dynamic.
The arbitrator decided that Robert’s behaviour was inappropriate, too personal and outside the normal boundaries. He was somewhat oblivious of the fact that he was making people uncomfortable.
Ultimately, it was decided that Robert was out of line, but that the punishment of termination after a 21-year career was inappropriate. Progressive discipline and a warning would have been the most severe appropriate response.
Having read this decision, one is left wondering whether a complaint would have been filed if Robert had been a woman. Is it possible that stereotypes about gender roles played a part in what happened? On the other hand, it may be that others in the workplace would have felt uncomfortable with the discussions and questions even if Robert had been a woman.
No matter what gender you are, if you are introducing discussions of a sexual nature into the workplace that you knew or ought to have known were making others uncomfortable, you have gone too far.
This article was originally published by The Hamilton Spectator.
